“Conflict is drama, and how people deal with conflict shows you the kind of people they are.” – Stephen Moyer
A Dramatic Break Up
Last year, lover and I broke up. We had been together for nearly two years and I thought that meant there was a future for us as a couple. But what I thought was completely wrong.
I knew I was in love with him about two months after we started dating. It was the start of the pandemic and we were about to go into lockdown and I thought that meant it was the end for us. My heart couldn’t take the thought of being without him and it caused me physical pain. That’s when our first fight occurred. I cried until he called me to calm me down and to tell me that he still wanted to be with me. But I knew then that I never wanted to be apart from him.
Fast forward to last September and he had gone MIA. I was extremely upset thinking that he had ghosted me. He came back two weeks later saying that he was going through something. That’s when we started spiraling. In October, I asked him what I was to him and he said, “A friend.” It upset me because the whole time I thought we were something more. I told him that I loved him and he basically told me to take it back because he couldn’t give me what I wanted.
I walked out in tears because all I wanted was to have a life with him.
Fighting Through Tears
I didn’t want to talk to anyone and I continued to cry. My tears had been wiped so many times, day in and day out that I got an eye infection. It was like adding insult to injury. I forced myself to go to work, but I couldn’t concentrate because I was so heartbroken.
It was the worst feeling in the world and I had experienced break ups in the past. I guess he was the only one I’ve ever loved.
Many people would probably think I was being a drama queen, but the emotional pain translated into a physical pain. My chest felt tight and I was hyperventilating, but I wasn’t sick. I simply had a broken heart.
Getting Back Together
There was silence between us until it became unbearable. We ended up talking again because many things had been left unsaid when we fought. My friends weren’t too happy that I was talking to him. They told me to forget him, but it’s hard to forget someone you love that much.
I think we weren’t communicating well and talking again allowed us to say how we really felt. We both came from terrible relationships, but he is still healing from his and I’ve already made my peace. One thing was clear though…we just couldn’t stay away from each other so we got back together.
Our relationship is far from being drama free. Between the holidays, omicron, and other illnesses, we had gone 6 weeks without being able to see each other. But the time apart was different this time because the whole time, he wanted to make sure I was okay which is something he hadn’t done in the past. The sex is still great and he’s been opening up to me. Perhaps he’s beginning to realize how much I do really love him and he’s starting to trust me more.
Image by Courtney Clayton on Unsplash
I wish for you that he indeed sees how much you love him and that he can love you back 🙂
~ Marie xox